He ignored it, half due to the likelihood of it being an accident, the other half due to he was so f cking drunk. Out of the blue, he felt a tap on his right. Shot after shot, he tried to drown out his pain, his sorrow. Slamming a seat on the bar, he ordered some drinks. He received more than enough strange looks, but he didn't care.
He was pathetic.But one fateful night, that began just as every day before, he found himself stumbling into what ended up being a gay bar, already quite tipsy. Here, he was just some faggy play thing that danced around for children.As much as he wanted to quit, what kind of self-respecting company would hire what they saw as just a stupid purple dinosaur? So many times he found himself staring at the bottom of vodka bottles, his only release, just telling himself that he had to do it, he had to kill himself.But it was so hard.He was so weak on the inside.It's true, he had tried before, but he always chickened out. He was Barney, a 4.0 college graduate with a knack for stocks. Day after day, month after month, year after year, he was stuck doing that stupid fucking voice and that stupid fucking song while the pieces of shit pranced around him, calling him Barney. After all, they would surely have fuel for space travel, right? Again, no. But no.He had put all his eggs into this basket and spent the last of his gas storage to get there. His costars were atrocious and the children.well, they were children, what could you expect? He wanted so much to return to his home, where he could still get an office job and maybe bag that 7 that was always crushing on him. At least he wouldn't be stuck alone with stupid humans, right? Everything he used to believe was wrong. After a short audition and some time waiting, he had scored the job, along with some co-host dinosaurs. But this dinosaur didn't give a fuck what these less-advanced apes thought, he wanted a paycheck. Traveled all the way to the planet Earth, where he was given weird looks and called a costumed pedophile.
Well, he had always wanted to travel, and starring in a show would have him dripping in bitches, right? So he went for the job. It all started when he was young, fresh out of College and desperate for a job, he heard from a friend that a "friend of a friend" had an idea for a new show, and it involved traveling. But who was he to talk? His life was in shambles, he was the shell of who he used to be. Year after year, he was stuck dealing with obnoxious children and retarded-literally, mentally retarded-pieces of trash that disgraced the dinosaur name. The purple dinosaur looked at his reflection with weary eyes.Was he just one more of those "nice guys" like Reddit always said he was.? Would it ever work? He'd been doing this too fucking long.
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